don’t wanna go…

Going back through my life I realize that since I’ve been uprooted so many times during my early formative years my roots have become frail, fragile, perhaps even too weak for me to stand on.

There’s a logic to relying on solid roots to stand on but when you have none you can either spend the time to build them or else you just gotta cut them off and… fly… somehow… stop trying to be a rock when you’re really a liquid.

Or an empty cup.


Don’t wanna go to Cinemanila. And I haven’t signed any contract or anything either. But yeah I’m involved in the team. The team sending these Indonesian short-film makers to Cinemanila. And that’s part of the deal: I gotta go & “babysit”, somehow.

And I still don’t know anything about cinema or making films either, long or short. And I’m not interested in learning.

Hrhgrh. -_-”

Anyways I don’t like being a wage slave. But I don’t like being cut off at the leg every few seconds or so, either.

I realize that there are some things that I shouldn’t be revealing about my private life on my public blog.

So I guess my perception of privacy became somewhat less conventional when I started blogging back in 2003. I started out blogging pseudonymously, but within 3 months or so I revealed my real name on my blog. And now I have this pseudonymous identity out there and I also have this separate, Open blog. ‘Coz, we’ll, y’now some things…

sub-segue: Deepak Chopra’s Transubstantiated Human Chicken


A few days ago, Deepak Chopra wrote tweeted,

“Consciousness is the driver of evolution. Every time you eat a chicken or banana it transforms into a human.”

A comment:

Wow. It’s sort of like some demented sort of mass transubstantiation.

Further quip (from the same person):

This actually reminds me of various questions that came to my mind recently about transubstantiated (rather than merely consubstantiated) communion wine. Would it keep a vampire alive? If you distill it, what happens? If you watered plants with it, would they have the essence of Christ in them in a way which ordinary plants don’t? (Hmm. What if you used it to water wheat which was later used to make communion wafers? We must go deeper!) What happens if the precursor wine has impurities in it — does that affect the validity of the transubstantiation? Is it possible to transubstantiate other substances, like white wine, or grape juice, or orange juice, or Tang?

Maybe there’s a reason they keep me out of churches.

My reply, un-sent:

“Maybe there’s a reason they keep me out of churches.” | …But that also begs the question though: _who_ really keeps you out of churches: you, them, or it?

…but anyways, we’re all made out of stars right?

[/I kid, i kid.] [/Off to make a breakfast sandwich]

What I posted, in the comments, instead:

…So I guess we’re not made of billion-years-old stars after all, are we?

Clarification: I do believe that most, if not all, the atoms currently forming our current human bodies had been part of an ancient star at one time or another, as is currently believed to be most accurate among those studying contemporary astrophysics and evolutionary biology.

Until satisfactorily proven otherwise.


Author: Ferdi Zebua

For more info visit my blog, my Google+, or my Ello.

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