Google Pizza (formerly Gordon’s Pizza)

Customer: Hello! Gordon’s pizza?

Pizza: No sir it’s Google’s pizza.

Customer: So it’s a wrong number?

Pizza: No sir, Google bought it.

Customer: OK. Take my order please…

Pizza: Well sir, you want the usual?

Customer: The usual? You know me?

Pizza: According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust

Customer: OK! This is it

Pizza: May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?

Customer: No, I hate vegetables

Pizza: But your cholesterol is not good

Customer: How do you know?

Pizza: Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years

Customer: Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine

Pizza: You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network

Customer: I bought more from another drugstore

Pizza: It’s not showing on your credit card

Customer: I paid in cash

Pizza: But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

Customer: I have other source of cash

Pizza: This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source

Customer: WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an island without Internet, where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me

Pizza: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago…


Original author unknown. Web-search suggests originally authored some time in May 2017 at various Internet programming forums; perhaps originating in Reddit, but not for certain.

Personally I think it more likely to be from Slovakia, Czechia, Croatia, Lithuania, or somewhere else in Easter Europe.

cross-posted from my Tumblr blog: via IFTTT.
Originally posted on July 24, 2017 at 08:01PM. [Tumblr direct link]


Author: Ferdi Zebua

For more info visit my blog, my Google+, or my Ello.

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